id118-Anecdotal Sporting Humour

Written by Anon   

Anecdotal Sporting Humour

Since you have got this far,you are obviously not phased by unadulterated drivel,so here?s some more to test your credulity!

So,have you heard the one about……

1 The doctor who agreed to be the Hon Medical Officer at a well-known southern marathon on the strict understanding that the organisers did not indicate to the competitors that he was actually a pathologist. TRUE or FALSE?

2 The runner from out-of-town who contested a national business houses cross country championship in the south-east which crossed paths with an inter club at the same venue. It was not until he could not find his clothes in the changing rooms that it dawned upon him that he might be in the wrong place. TRUE or FALSE?

3 The journalist who covered his local rugby team?s exploits including the team?s annual trip to a Twickenham international,leaving at an ungodly hour and playing a local club in the morning of the England fixture. Missing the bus,he spent the day instead in his local hostelry with his cronies who urged him to submit a report of a substantial victory by the team. The report duly appeared,accompanied by flowery descriptions. Sadly,the match was cancelled due to inclement weather,someone snitched and someone lost their job. TRUE or FALSE?

4 The team which,after being heavily criticised for fielding an ultra-slow runner in the 5000 metres thus delaying the timetable somewhat,deliberately added insult to injury by running the same competitor in the 3000 steeplechase later in the match. TRUE or FALSE?

5 The overseas government which dissolved its own football federation for not acting against one of the country?s leading clubs which scored 149 own goals in a match in protest against a refereeing decision. TRUE or FALSE?

6 The endowed female cross-country runner,competing in a long-distance race in a heavily-wooded area of eastern England,whose mammary support disintegrated in two places,but who met her mother,who lived nearby and was out cheering her on and walking the dog. A very quick swap in a nearby thicket saved the day. TRUE or FALSE?

7 The visiting team manager who was so incensed at the late processing of a field event card that he stormed into the results room,snatched the card with venom and totally trashed it. His team never did get the presumably-vital points. TRUE or FALSE?

8 The road race in the south-east at the finish of which runners appeared from five different directions,prompting several competitors to allude to the ?piss-up in a brewery? story. TRUE or FALSE?

9 The local soccer team whose ultra-keen but ageing goalkeeper was so wretched without his statutory hour in the pub immediately before a match that the team manager had the rest of the team on a rota both to ensure he was collected from the boozer in time but also to make sure that he was also delivered there beforehand. TRUE or FALSE?

10 The local rugby team whose regular coach driver for away fixtures was,also,unbeknown to his employers,a regular late sub. for a frequent non-arriving team member and who was so absolutely useless and butter-fingered(scared!) that the home teams gave up marking him - until,in a final of a local cup competition against a super-fit university,his team captain and fly-half had a brainwave - and he scored three tries in the last quarter of the match to win the trophy. Sadly,his employers found out and he never played again. TRUE or FALSE?

Answers on a postcard

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