Written by A Yank   

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YEAR'S BEST HEADLINES OF 2007

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[No, really? Being an 'Expert' really is money for old rope]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

[Not if you wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

[I doubt it!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

[How could they refuse!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace

[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

[Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

[All that training in Hendon didn't go to waste!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

[You mean there's something stronger than gaffer tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

[Process of elimination finds the emination!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

[Is cannibalism on the rise again?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is….

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

(Was it the location that gave it away?)