id911-Silly Laws

Written by GR   

How very true!

UNIVERSAL LAWS

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over while those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and who stay to the bitter end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.(also known to the Duke of Edinburgh as Dontopedology.Ed)

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

About

  • 1985

    Our Humble Beginnings

    We are one of the biggest and friendliest athletics clubs in London and compete across a huge array of leagues, events and championships and have athletes of literally all standards and ages and across all events.

  • Inclusion

    Whether you are an 8 year old novice, a senior international or a “more mature” athlete looking to get back into the sport – we can help you achieve your goals.

  • Coaches for All

    We cater for runners, jumpers, throwers and multi-eventers on the track, in the field, on the roads or over the country and are based at Kingsmeadow in Kingston-upon-Thames (KT1 3PB). We'll be very happy to help you with your sport – so please just get in touch and we'll do all we can to assist.

  • Be Part
    Of Our
    Story!

Our Amazing Team

Bilen Ahmet

Jack Petchey Coordinator

Camilla Thrush

Club General Secretary
Club Merchandise
Disability Co-ordinator
Database Data Controller
Development Team
Club Coaches

Chris Dack

Web Admin

Gareth Cook

NAL Men’s Field Captain
Surrey Coach Mentor – Hammer
Surrey Men’s Team Manager

Gillian Libretto

Membership Secretary
Competition Vest supplier

Les Hatton

Interim Chair

Pat Logan

Coaching Coordinator

Peter Shilling

Peter Shilling
President & UKA Technical Official

Richard Holt

Head Coach
Website Content Admin

 

Contact Us